To begin with, I just checked, and my AuntB hotline inbox is empty, so I guess I'll respond here at the ol' blog.
Playing a fine blogdom Nurse Ratchet (that's an interesting metaphor--the Nashville blogosphere as One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) has called me out regarding some sentiments expressed of late. ("The Bitchass Tyrant Addresses Her Critics" « Tiny Cat Pants).
I don't have much time to craft transitions and such, so here goes with the bulleted response.
1. If the shoe fits. You weren't the subject of my post (I can only remember reading a comment from you at MCB once, and I don't remember the subject or what you said). Consequently, the "community theatre" comment wasn't written with you in mind. And pardon the title of this bullet, I had to think of something.
2. My opinion, and I do have one. You were the subject of some of my comments at MCB on the matter, but only after several fawning comments that seemed to need some perspective--my perspective, applied to them. I hope people will take the time to read the entire thread (I know, it's a long one, but do it out of love for Community).
3. Unbecomingness. I don't balk at expletives or otherwise explicit conversation because the person spouting it is a woman or a feminist or even a Liberal. It's the language. It's the subject matter. Now that's not to say that I don't see something funny or insightful or even profound behind the clutter at times, but I won't deny that it is offensive and wearying. I don't hear that language in my daily life; I don't use that language; it is a distraction (at best) and an irritant (at worst). William (who made a surprisingly misogynistic comment over the past couple days) may have different expectations for e-interaction, but not me.
4. Dogmatism. Hopefully you can respect that others may believe certain "immutable truths" which are different than your own and that espousing said convictions may deeply offend and/or hurt people. I don't think that it qualifies as "prickly ridiculousness and bull-headed hurtfulness" to communicate that. Just be glad you don't have to live with me and have control of when you have to hear dissenting opinions.
5. Thinking hard. My point, and nm misunderstood it as well, was that someone with my views won't get much grace or benefit of the doubt on your site . . . no mulligans or do-overs. Not only that, (to continue with the sports metaphors) almost any pitch towards a batter on your team that may wander up and in will be perceived as a bean ball, so folks like me have to walk on egg shells to avoid ratcheting up the debate. Now bench-clearing brawls certainly draw attention, but I would generally rather play the game than do the fighting, so I try to avoid inciting something . . . and that takes rumination.
6. Coyly not naming names. Gosh it's easy to call people out in the e-world, but I that doesn't mean that I should do it. (see "ratcheting up" reference above). I didn't bring your name up, but I did have an opinion about what was said by those who did bring your name up. Surely you're aware that your posts tend to be a little blue from time to time? Certainly you are aware that some of the things you write might be kind of off-putting to those who disagree with you? I will admit that I implied that a difference in tone (slight, but perceivable nonetheless) from your posts to your comments with said posts hinted at inflammatory-ness for effect, but I pretty much will stand by that assertion. But your site, unlike MCB, isn't intended to build a "Community" (the word is starting to grate on me now) out of persons spread along the political/ideological spectrum, so that's fine with me.
It has been fun talking . . . may I go now?
Hello world!
7 years ago
5 comments:
Ned, two things:
1) I really appreciate this post. I think it was (ironically) Aunt B who said that knowing what makes someone tick is more important than knowing what they think. Thanks for opening the hood a little and giving a little context to everything we see at MCB.
2) I need to correct something - your number 5 simply isn't true. One thing you learn if you really pay attention at TCB, is that the site isn't about arguing, it's about thinking. I have no idea where you came up with your representation. I'm pretty conservative politically, yet, my views are never dismissed by Aunt B. She might disagree, but in doing so she'll present an alternative way of looking at things. That is far from what you've described.
I didn't want that assertion to sit unchallenged.
Otherwise, I pretty much agree.
Just out of curiosity, are you a native Nashvillian? I think the aversion to bluntness, abrasiveness, whatever, may be a "Nashville" thing.
Thanks Slarti,
I grew up in Florida and have lived all over since then. But I, too, find bluntness generally charming/endearing-- it kind of goes without saying that there needs to be some charity behind it, though. That may be there with AuntB, but I don't feel it. The occasional "I don't think you're as big of an _____________ as you seem to be" is some consolation, but . . . What's particularly ironic to me about all this is that so many people around MCB are all over Ann Coulter for her tone and they are oblivious to the razor sharpness of locals like AuntB.
And whether other people get argued with or pilloried at TCP isn't really something I can comment on . . . I am, frankly, incredulous at the the "AuntB is nice" line judging from the times I've been there (which, candidly, is when she has teed off on something I've said elsewhere). Maybe if I hung around more sailors or observed that she treated everyone the way she has treated me I'd see it differently, but--a I said elsewhere I think, her posts are indisputably argumentative.
I don't hear that language in my daily life; I don't use that language; it is a distraction (at best) and an irritant (at worst).
I guess it says something about my age (older) that I would single this out of everything you wrote here, Ned, but I agree. I can't help my upbringing here in the South. We were sent outside to cut a switch if we said words a paler blue than much of what I read on Tennessee blogs, usually written by non-Southerners, I bet, though the natives here are represented, I'm sure.
Trust me, my eyes and ears are hardly virgin. I've heard all the words before. My daddy spent 6 years in the Navy, half of it during wartime. There wasn't a single sailor word I hadn't heard before I was 3 years old. But, as I said, if any of us kids repeated them: "Go outside right now, young lady, and cut a switch."
I just can't read the hard-core cussing and trashy talk. I skip over it or just avoid it altogether. 'Cause there's this voice in my head, and the willow trees in my front yard have really long branches ...
Thanks for the comment, Donna. And, maybe this merits a full-blown post in the future, but I want to be clear in stating that I protect my ears and thoughts intentionally . . . it's a standard that I embrace, even if interaction with others requires tolerance.
By the way, I used to have a job in which I was required to think like a 13-year-old boy. This took some doing.
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